So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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