yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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