i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
God, I missed his penis.
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