Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Someone shattered a urinal.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
