sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
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At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
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In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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