i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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