I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
My vagina just recognized that song.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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