This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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