Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
