I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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