My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I want to have your abortion
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
