Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
17 year olds will be the death of me.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
