defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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