I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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