i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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