The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pussy is not your playground.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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