By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
