Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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