the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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