I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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