Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize