Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
