with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
