So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
