So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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