And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
