but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
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I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
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Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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