Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It's shark week go big or go home
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
