You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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