Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
