I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
