and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
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It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
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I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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