he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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