ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.