I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize