I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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