so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
zippers are such a cool invention
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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