My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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