Is it because I queefed?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
