I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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