I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize