I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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