I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
you never un-have a 4some
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
