my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
