Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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