He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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