On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
