sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize