smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize