"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
