So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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