Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
one might say we're banned from that church
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
