just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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