took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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