Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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