Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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