so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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