A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
