A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
