i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
