you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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