Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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