I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
