Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
a search helicopter?!
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
