jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I wish you could order shots online.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
