what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
